Gundam Eye for the OZ Guy
by DBZHobbit
Summary: My own version of Queer eye for the straight guy but with the Gundam Boys as my Fab Five. They're going to give a make over to a certain OZ leader with help from a friend and oh dear Shinigami! Heero's incharge of fashion! 3x4 from Chap 3. FINISHED (final
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, Queer eye for the straight guy or any of the labels featured in this story. But dear Shinigami I wish I did. Warning! Total insanity ahead!!!  
  
**Gundam Eye for the OZ Guy  
**  
Muahahaha!!! I've captured the Gundam boys to create my own Fab Five!! Hee hee! And guess who'll they'll be giving a make over? Yes, It's Trieze Kushranada! Oh the possiblilities! Anyhoos, on with the story!  
  
Heero: I can't believe she's making us do this  
  
Quatre: She is ill Heero that could be why.  
  
Duo: Yep, the flu medicine has gone to her brain  
  
DBZHobbit: Be nice (sniff) I'm very ill and if you make fun of me I'll 'accidentally' make you do this in pink tutus!  
  
Gundam Boys: Eep!  
  
DBZHobbit: Good, so who's going to do what?  
  
Duo: (throws his arm in the air) I get dibs on grooming!  
  
Quatre: (Mimics his best friend) I get food!  
  
Wufei: I shall take culture then  
  
Trowa: Interior design  
  
Heero: What does that leave me with?  
  
Quatre and Duo: (Giggling) Fashion!  
  
Heero: What!  
  
Duo: Even Trieze doesn't deserve Heero doing his clothes, I mean; the guy wears spandex shorts for Shinigami's sake!  
  
Heero: What and a three-foot braid is the fashion statement of the year?  
  
Duo: (Going red from anger) You did not just mock the braid!  
  
Quatre: (Jumping in to stop the fight) I think we'll need some celebrity help then. Oh! I know! (Quatre waves his magic wand)  
  
Duo: Where'd that come from?  
  
Quatre: (Shrugs) I don't know... Anyway! Fashion God!  
  
Giorgio Armani: Yes?  
  
Quatre: Send us some help please  
  
Giorgio Armani: Ok, but you might regret it  
  
**Poof!   
**  
DBZHobbit: (Screams like a little fan girl) IT'S RYUICHI! IT'S RYUICHI SAKUMA!  
  
Ryuichi: Hi! Say hi Kumagorou  
  
Kumagorou: (Waves)  
  
(A/N If you don't know, it's Ryuichi Sakuma from Gravitation and Kumagorou is his stuffed pink bunny isn't he cute!)  
  
Heero: I'm getting help from a guy with a pink bunny?  
  
Ryuichi: Well, Mr K couldn't come and Shuichi's doing a gig right now so Mr Armani sent me  
  
Heero: (Sarcastically) Great  
  
Ryuichi: (Completely misses the sarcasm) I know, isn't it! You, Kumagorou and me can all be best friends!  
  
Heero: o.O  
  
Quatre: Right! Now that we've all met lets go and get Trieze!  
  
All: Ok!  
  
** Twenty minutes later, at Trieze's house   
**  
All: (Bang on huge door like there's no tomorrow)  
  
Trieze: (Flings door open) What!  
  
Duo: Hiya Trieze! We've come to give you a make over so girls will like you!   
  
Trieze: But girls already like me  
  
Duo: well, I wouldn't be too sure about that. (Turns to others) Does a woman with a split personality and Princess Leya hair (Can't spell it) count?  
  
Others: (All shake heads. Even Ryu-Chan who has no idea who he's talking about)  
  
Duo: There we go then. Come on. You're coming with me, Heero and Ryuichi  
  
Ryuichi: And Kumagorou!  
  
Duo: Yes, and Kumagorou. Sorry I forgot you my bunny friend.  
  
Ryuichi: Kumagorou says it's ok  
  
Duo: Ooookaaay...  
  
Trieze: Aren't you Ryuichi from Nittle Grasper?  
  
Ryuichi: Yep!  
  
Trieze: I love you're songs  
  
Ryuichi: Thanks!  
  
DBZHobbit: Hello! Trying to write a fic here!  
  
Both: Sorry...  
  
Duo: Anyway... Wu-Man, Q-Babe and... ok, I don't have a nickname for Trowa but they're going to just ransack your house ok? (Doesn't wait for a reply) Good! Lets go!  
  
Duo, Heero and Ryuichi: (Grab Trieze and march him to the car)  
  
Heero: Where did that car come from?  
  
Duo: Same place as Quatre's wand?  
  
Heero: I guess that makes sense  
  
Ryuichi: Na no da!  
  
Others: Huh?  
  
Ryuichi: When people start making too much sense I make nonsense so I say 'Na no da!'  
  
Heero and Trieze: Riiiiiight  
  
Duo: (Puts one arm around Ryuichi's shoulders) Don't you just love this guy?  
  
Ryuichi: (Big grin)  
  
Heero: --;; why do I have to work with the guys who left their brains in their mothers womb?  
  
Trieze: You got me...  
  
Duo: Into the car and we shall see the wonders of Down Town!  
  
Ryuichi: Yay! (Dives in car)  
  
Duo: Erm... Ryu-Chan, That's the driver's seat and you can't drive. Especially since you're upside down.  
  
Ryuichi: Oh... ok.  
  
Heero: I'm driving  
  
Duo: Aww... Fine. I call shotgun!  
  
Heero: You were allowed to bring a gun? No fair!  
  
Duo: -- Heero, it's an expression. I know you haven't been speaking English for very long but please, keep up.  
  
Heero: Humph (Goes in big mood and doesn't talk while driving)

Whee! We've started! In the next chapter, Trieze is getting groomed and dressed. Now wont that be fun! n.n  
  
Heero: I still can't believe you're making us do this  
  
Duo: My and Ryu-Chan think it's fun.  
  
Heero: You two would  
  
Ryuichi: Three! Kumagorou!  
  
Heero: A pink bunny does not count as a person!   
  
Ryuichi: ,n.n, Fine... Kumagorou doesn't like you anymore. We like Duo don't we Kuma-Chan?  
  
Duo: Yeah, they like Duo (Pulls tongues at Heero)  
  
Ok! Lets save all this for the next chap. Toodles! 


	2. Shopping

Disclaimer: I own nothing, No Gundam, No Gravi and no labels.  
  
Shopping  
  
Down Town   
  
Duo: Yeah! We're here! Everybody out!  
  
Trieze: (Practically throws himself out of the car as been subjected to sharing the backseat with a perky J-Rock star and his pink bunny)  
  
Heero: (Still in big mood)  
  
Ryuichi: Wow! It's so big! It reminds me of home! Hey, d'you think that there's a recording studio here?  
  
Duo: Somewhere, but you're in the fashion game today Ryu-Chan and look! (He points across the road) There's where we're going to play it!  
  
Ryuichi: Yay! I like games!  
  
Heero: (mumbling) Figures  
  
Duo: What was that honey?  
  
Heero: Don't start that!  
  
Trieze: Start what?  
  
Duo: My game where I think of any word that annoys Heero and use it so many times it loses all meaning.  
  
Ryuichi: Ooh! That sounds fun can I play too?  
  
Duo: . Sure (Whispers to Ryu-Chan)  
  
Ryuichi: . Okay! (Walks over to Heero, puts Kumagorou on his head and grabs the perfect soldier's wrist) Come and cross the road sweetie!  
  
Heero: (Goes for his pocket but finds that his gun was banned) Nuts!  
  
DBZHobbit: (Holding Heero's gun) Muahaha!  
  
Heero: (Gets dragged across the road by Ryuichi)  
  
Duo: Come on Trieze (Does the same as his Bunny wielding friend)  
  
In the Store   
  
Heero: (To Duo) Well, what am I supposed to do now?  
  
Duo: Hey, this is you're job. Ask Ryu-Chan, this is the part where I get to sit back and watch all the fun!  
  
Heero: (Growling) Some help you are  
  
Ryuichi: Do I get to play the fashion game now?  
  
Heero: Yeah, I guess  
  
Ryuichi: Great! How do I play?  
  
Heero: Huh?  
  
Ryuichi: All games have rules. What are the rules for the fashion game?  
  
Heero: Erm.... Make Trieze look good?  
  
Duo: (Snigger)  
  
Heero: (Death glare)  
  
Duo: o.o  
  
Ryuichi: Ok! Can I start now?  
  
Heero: (Swings arm out to clothes rails) Be my guest (Sits down next to Duo and a panic stricken Trieze)  
  
Duo: That's cheating. You're going to let Ryu-Chan do all of the work.  
  
Heero: If he wants to do it then let him do it. He'll do a better job of humiliating Trieze than me anyway.  
  
Duo: Uh huh, and the fact that you don't know the first thing about clothes doesn't come into that equation?  
  
Heero: Oh shut up  
  
Duo: .   
  
Ryuichi: (Big pile of clothes in his arms) Ok Mr Trieze. I'm ready!  
  
Trieze: O.O Eep!  
  
Ryuichi: (Leads him into dressing room) Ok, ooh, look you can put on this Armani jacket, oh and this Diesel T-Shirt. But you've got to take the jacket off first. Ooh yeah! Kumagorou said that you should put the Levis jeans on too and he says that the Jimmy Choo dress shoes will look great!  
  
Heero: I can't believe that Trieze is taking fashion advice from a pink bunny.  
  
Duo: I know but it should be hilarious when he comes out.  
  
Half and Hour Later   
  
Ryuichi: Finished! (Pops out of dressing room) You ready?  
  
Heero and Duo: (Nod)  
  
Ryuichi: (Throws curtain back) Ta Daaaa!!!! (Trieze is wearing black jeans, a red t-shirt and a black dinner jacket) and look! He can wear it with the blue shirt instead of the red t-shirt!  
  
Heero: O.O I don't believe it  
  
Duo: O.O neither do I  
  
Both: He actually looks ok!  
  
Ryuichi: . Did I win?  
  
Heero: Huh?  
  
Ryuichi: Did I win the fashion game?  
  
Duo: Yeah, Ryu-Chan you won!  
  
Ryuichi: Did you hear that Kumagorou! We won! Yay! (Starts Dancing with Kumagorou)  
  
Duo, Heero and Trieze: o.O  
  
Duo: (Snaps out of it) Well, it's off to the salon!  
  
Trieze and Heero: Oh great...  
  
In the Salon   
  
Duo: (Shoves Trieze into the chair) Right, I'm going to do you're hair and then I'm going to let the lovely ladies give you a massage, apply the moisturiser, cleanser etc and then I'll give you the low-down on what you new hair care regime is. Okay? .   
  
Trieze: o.O Heero: Duo, you're going to do his hair?  
  
Duo: Well, duh. I'm the guy best suited to the job. My hair doesn't just pop into place like yours does you know. When I wash it, it has to be shampooed twice, conditioned once and blow-dried with special serum so it doesn't go frizzy. Because it's in my braid all the time it goes curly so I have to straighten it, then I have to use the stuff that stops the straightening from wrecking my hair. And Then I braid it again.  
  
Heero: I'd just cut the whole lot off and save myself the trouble. That's why we need four bathrooms in the house is it? Because you spend about 2 hours doing your hair?  
  
Duo: Of course  
  
Heero: I wouldn't bother  
  
Duo: That's why you're not doing Trieze's hair. Hey! Where'd he go!  
  
Trieze: (Trying to crawl out without being noticed)  
  
Duo and Heero: (Grab Trieze and shove him in the chair again)  
  
Duo: (Ties Trieze to the chair) Right. Now I'm going to wash it.  
  
Narrator (a.k.a me): Duo washes Trieze's hair thoroughly, so thoroughly that Heero thought that Trieze was going to pass out. He then wheeled Trieze back to the cutting/styling area (He was wheeled because Duo didn't trust him to get back in the chair again if he was removed from it) the lovable Shinigami then grabbed the scissors and looked around for inspiration.  
  
Duo: (Big evil grin) Muahahaha!  
  
Trieze: What are you doing?  
  
Duo: (Innocently) Oh nothing. (Begins to cut away at Trieze's hair)  
  
Heero and Ryuichi: (Watching wide eyed) O.O (but Ryu-Chan was more like this) 0.0  
  
Duo: Done!  
  
Ryuichi: Hey he looks like Gomez Addams!  
  
Heero: From the Addams Family? Turn him around Duo and let me see  
  
Duo: (Turns the chair around with a big grin on his face)  
  
Trieze: (Whimpering)  
  
Heero: Oh yeah, I see it now!  
  
Trieze: ,n.n, Ryuichi: He looks funny! Doesn't he Kuma-Chan! (Makes the bunny nod)  
  
Heero: For once I agree with the rabbit, good job Du  
  
Duo: (Blushes) Thanks  
  
Narrator: Trieze is led away (Still whimpering) to get his facial care stuff on (Couldn't be bothered to repeat what Duo had said) when he came back his face was clean and sparkly and he looked relaxed. That was until he saw our three friends and came extremely nervous again.  
  
Duo: Now, you have to look after your hair, you've got to gel it that, lets face it, you're used to. If you don't it'll all stick up and go fluffy and trust me, you don't want that. When you wash it make sure you shampoo twice and condition once then rinse it for all you're worth.  
  
Trieze: (Sniffling) ok  
  
Duo: Great! Now lets go back and see what the others have done to your house!  
  
Trieze: ,O.O,  
  
Whee! Second chapter done! Next, what has Trowa done to his house, what's Quatre going to make Trieze cook and what on earth is Wufei supposed to do!  
  
Wufei: Even I don't know that  
  
Duo: (Sticks hand in the air and waves it around jumping up and down on the balls of his feet) Oh! Oh! I do! I do!  
  
Wufei: Go on Maxwell. What have I got to do?  
  
Duo: (Grinning) You've got to be cultural!  
  
Wufei: -.-;; Maxwell!  
  
Duo and Ryuichi: (Snickering about the little joke in the corner)  
  
Heero: We've really got to do something about them... 


	3. At Home

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Nothing at all! I live in a cardboard box! Oh, there's mild 3x4 and some parts you wouldn't understand if you don't know anything about Gravitation. If anyone is really confused just ask me about it ok?  
  
**At Home**  
  
Duo: We're here... and there's... an... elephant in front of the house....  
  
Heero: What in the colonies has Trowa done?  
  
Ryuichi: Wow! An elephant! Come on Kumagorou! Lets go play with it!  
  
Duo: No! Ryu-Chan! You can't play with a two tonne elephant!  
  
Ryuichi: Aww! Why not?  
  
Heero: Does the word 'squish' mean anything to you?  
  
Ryuichi: -.-?  
  
Duo: Well, anyways, now I'm intrigued to know what's inside  
  
Treize: I'm not!  
  
Duo: I don't care, come on Heero (Grabs Treize with Heero)  
  
Heero and Duo: (Drag Treize to house)  
  
Ryuichi: (Follows them while waving sadly to the elephant) See you later!  
  
Duo: (Knocks on the door) Trowa! Let us in! We want to see what you've done!  
  
Trowa: (Through the door) He's not going to like it!  
  
Duo: Even better!  
  
Treize: ,O.O,  
  
Duo: (Evil grin)  
  
Trowa: (Opens the door with his version of the evil grin) Welcome home Treize  
  
Treize: (In tears, bawling on the floor) My house! My beautiful house!  
  
Trowa: I can't see what's wrong. I feel right at home now.  
  
Treize: Exactly!  
  
Narrator: (giggling) Treize's house looked like the inside of a big top, complete with that wood stuff all over the floor and the red and yellow material all over the ceilings and walls.  
  
Trowa: I've just started to bring the animals in  
  
Duo: Yeah, we saw the elephant  
  
Ryuichi: Look! There's a lion! Ooh! And a horse! And... is that a bear!  
  
Trowa: n .n Yep  
  
Heero: Well done. You did all of this in three hours  
  
Trowa: Well, I had some help from Wufei and when Quatre wasn't cooking he gave me a hand.  
  
Duo: Speaking of my blonde metaphorical brother, where is he?  
  
Trowa: In the kitchen, it's just past the popcorn stand  
  
Ryuichi: POPCORN!!!!!!!  
  
Heero: Yeah, you go play with the popcorn Ryuichi, and make sure to let Kumagorou have a real good look inside the lion's mouth  
  
Duo: HEERO!  
  
Heero: (innocent look, well, as innocent as he could get) What? The pink bunny might want to be a dentist.  
  
Ryuichi: No, Kumagorou doesn't like going to the dentist  
  
Heero and Treize: Riiiiight  
  
In the kitchen  
  
Duo: Hey Q-babe!  
  
Quatre: Hi guys! How'd you like the house?  
  
Duo: I think it's great!  
  
Quatre: n . n it's fun isn't it!  
  
Duo: So what are you going to make Treize cook?  
  
Quatre: Salmon palm leaf packets and Halva for dessert.  
  
Duo: Huh?  
  
Quatre: (Sighs) It's salmon cooked while it's wrapped in palm leaves and Halva is an Arabian dessert.  
  
Duo: Oh! That really really sweet stuff we had on your birthday and I eat so much that I hallucinated Heero dancing with a purple monkey?  
  
Quatre: The one and the same.  
  
Duo: Great! I'll go get Treize! (Dives out to go get Treize)  
  
Treize: (Sitting on floor and crying his eyes out) My house, my beautiful house, is a circus. Is that a seal?  
  
Duo: Treize! Time for cooking with Q-Bean!  
  
Treize: With who?  
  
Duo: Q-Bean! (Sees confused look on Treize's face) Quatre!  
  
Treize: Oh, Quatre. Good, he's the sweet one.  
  
Duo: What? You don't think I'm sweet? I'm offended! (Bursts into fake tears)  
  
Treize: (Doesn't realise that they're fake) No! You're sweet too Duo but Quatre is the... less hyper of the two of you.  
  
Duo: (Laughing inside that Treize thought he really was upset) Oh, that's ok then. But I'm warning you; he's a devil in the kitchen. Not even Heero goes near him (Evil grin)  
  
Treize: Gulp.  
  
In the kitchen  
  
Quatre: Hi Treize, did Duo tell you what you're making with me?  
  
Treize: No (Getting nervous at the strange smile on Duo's face)  
  
Quatre: Oh, well, we're making Salmon in Palm leaves and Halva.  
  
Treize: Isn't that the really sweet Arabian thing?  
  
Quatre: Yes, now shut up so we can start  
  
Treize: (thinking) Uh oh.  
  
Quatre: First we do this....  
  
Narrator: Duo left Quatre to tormenting Treize. Even he didn't want to be around when the OZ leader did something wrong and Quatre flew off the handle. He decided to make sure that Heero hadn't got something to eat Ryuichi.  
  
Duo: Ryu-Chan! Ryu-Chan, where are you? (Thinks for a moment then sighs) Kumagorou! Here pink bunny bunny!  
  
Ryuichi: (Holding up Kumagorou) I'm here!  
  
Duo: Thank Shinigami you haven't been eaten.  
  
Ryuichi: No, we've been playing doctors with the animals and we were just about to check this tiger's tonsils like Heero-Chan said to do when you called us.  
  
Duo: Heero! Will you stop trying to get your supposed partner into an animal's stomach!  
  
Heero: What? They like him; I can't help it if he wants to look really far into their mouths.  
  
Duo: (Evil glare so bad that it trumps Heero's miraculously)  
  
Heero: Eep!  
  
Duo: (Deep threatening voice) Are you going to play nice now Heero?  
  
Heero: (Backed into a corner) Yes.  
  
Duo: And you'll be friendly to Ryuichi?  
  
Heero: Yes...  
  
Duo: And Kumagorou?  
  
Heero: What! That little-  
  
Duo: AND KUMAGOROU  
  
Heero: Yes! Yes, the bunny too!  
  
Duo: Good, now go play  
  
Heero: (Runs off to the safety of the bathroom where the lions have made their den)  
  
Narrator: Duo was just claming down from his 'Heero-ism' as he called it when he heard an almighty explosion coming from the kitchen.  
  
Quatre: TREIZE! LOOK AT THIS MESS!!!!  
  
Treize: S-sorry Quatre...  
  
Quatre: You never, NEVER mess up my kitchen like this!!!!!!  
  
Treize: But it's my kitchen.  
  
Quatre: Well, it's temporarily mine!!! I'm the Chef you listen to what I say! Did you listen? NO! You didn't and now look what's happened! Argh!  
  
Treize: (Tries to hide in bread bin) Eep! He's worse than Gordon Ramsey!  
  
Duo: (Comes in) Who?  
  
DBZHobbit: It's an English thing. Hell's kitchen's got nothing on Quatre's kitchen.  
  
Duo: Huh?  
  
DBZHobbit: You really should get to grips with the English stuff Du, I'm English after all.  
  
Duo: Yeah, but I'm not....  
  
DBZHobbit: (Sighs) Anyhoo, I'm not meant to be here.  
  
Duo: No, this is my show, go away.  
  
DBZHobbit: Humph! (Storms off)  
  
Narrator: Duo was suddenly in a pink tutu and had been instructed to dance with Wufei, the Gundam pilot who had unfortunately just walked in.  
  
Duo: Hey!  
  
Wufei: Hey! Stupid Onna!  
  
Narrator: Wufei now also appeared in a tutu but his was purple.  
  
Wufei: What the!  
  
DBZHobbit: (Typing evilly) MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! That's what you get for insulting me!!!!!!! Ahem, on with the story.  
  
Narrator: Duo and Wufei are returned to normal and they stare in wonder at Quatre foaming at the mouth surrounded by sugar.  
  
Duo: Erm, what happened?  
  
Quatre: He... blew up.... the Halva!  
  
Duo: I... see...  
  
Treize: Well you kept saying, add sugar, add more, add more. So I just poured the whole thing in and it went kablooy.  
  
DBZHobbit: Yeah, that's not possible but hey, it's my story and yes, Treize did just say 'kablooy'  
  
Quatre: It's sweet! It's the sweetest thing on the planet! You're supposed to add lots of sugar but not the whole 3kg!  
  
Treize: Sorry Quatre...  
  
Quatre: You will be!  
  
Duo and Wufei: (Grab Quatre so he can't cause any serious bodily harm to a certain aristocrat)  
  
Duo: It's ok Q; we just wont have a dessert.  
  
Wufei: But it's an injustice against his honour not to have his native dish!  
  
Quatre: Yes! What Wufei said!  
  
Duo: Shut up Wu! (Turns head and calls into the other room) TROWA!!!!!!!  
  
Trowa: (Comes in) What?  
  
Duo: Stop your rampaging boyfriend from killing the star of the show! We need Treize for the ratings!  
  
Trowa: But this isn't going out on TV  
  
Duo: Grr.... Shut up we still haven't humiliated Treize enough so we still need him, now stop Q-Bean!  
  
Trowa: (Goes over and kisses Quatre)  
  
Quatre: (Melts in Duo and Wufei's arms)  
  
Trowa: There you go.  
  
Duo: No fair, I've never had a kiss like that.  
  
Quatre: (Practically unconcious) I wuv you Twowa  
  
Wufei: Honestly, can't you two keep your hands off each other for a whole day?  
  
Quatre: I wuv Twowa...  
  
Duo: (Clicking his fingers in front of Quatre) Earth to Q-Babe! Earth to Q- Babe! This is Duo! Come in!  
  
Quatre: I wuv Twowa...  
  
Duo: (Sighs) I think you did a better job than we expected Trowa. Heero! Get in here!  
  
Heero: (Still mad at Duo getting the upper hand before) What!  
  
Duo: (Trying to hold up Quatre with Wufei... and failing) Get Quatre back to normal but not back into psycho mode.  
  
Heero: (Walks over to Quatre) Zero Four. This is Zero One. Come in.  
  
Duo: Tried that.  
  
Heero: Erm.... (Thinks and then smacks Quatre upside the head)  
  
Duo and Trowa: Hey!  
  
Quatre: Ow! What happened? Why am I almost on the floor? Did I miss something?  
  
Duo: Not much. Just keep Treize cooking ok Q-Bean?  
  
Quatre: Yeah ok. (Sighs annoyingly) I guess we'll have to start the Halva AGAIN!  
  
Treize: (Gulp)  
  
Narrator: This time Treize checked and double checked what Quatre wanted him to do before he did it. This did annoy the blonde but at least Treize was following his instructions to the letter. After an hour or two Treize had managed to cook the Salmon in Palm leaves and the Halva. Miraculously Quatre hadn't killed the OZ leader and Heero hadn't got Ryuichi eaten by anything. Then Duo called everyone into the living room, or the centre ring as Treize's house was now a circus.  
  
Duo: Well, we've done all the preperation that we could have done and now we have to leave so you can have your special night Treize. Or as you like to say, Act three has ended and Act four is about to begin!  
  
Wufei: But I haven't done anything yet  
  
Duo: Erm... Quick, think of something with culture.  
  
Wufei: The Theatre?  
  
Duo: Yes! The theatre! Treize can take his date to the theatre!  
  
Quatre: But Duo, there are no shows at the theatre tonight. Nittle Grasper are having their concert there and it's completely sold out.  
  
Duo: Yeah, so what else can we do? There's no way we'll be able to get two tickets to a fully booked Nittle Grasper concert (Starts one of his thinking moments)  
  
Heero: (Can believe everyone's stupidity) (Starts pointing side long at Ryuichi who is staring into space next to him)  
  
Duo: Heero? Why are you pointing at Ryu-Chan? You need to help us think of something cultural for Treize to do.  
  
Heero: We have Nittle Grasper's lead singer here and you can't think of how to get tickets!!!  
  
Duo: OH YEAH! Ryu-Chan! Can we have two tickets to your concert tonight please?  
  
Ryuichi: (To Kumagorou) Will Mr K let us Kuma-Chan? Hn, I guess so. The only places left would be right behind the stage though so they'd need backstage passes. Oh yeah, we have those! Hee hee. (To Duo) Yeah sure!  
  
Duo: (Cheers) Alrighty then! Treize, you'll get ready. Make dinner, eat dinner and then go out to Ryu-Chan's concert with your date! Great!  
  
Treize: But who is my date?  
  
All: (Evil Grin) That's for us to know and you to get worried sick over!  
  
Narrator: So they all left to go and watch Treize on the T.V in their hotel room. Treize was left to get ready and be scared to near pants wetting. Who were they going to make him go on a date with?  
  
DBZHobbit: MUAHAHA!!!!!!! This is so much fun! I've finished school so I'm updating more often! Beware Treize! BEWARE!!!!!  
  
Wufei: Beware of the dog.  
  
DBZHobbit: Did you just call me a dog!!!!!  
  
Wufei: Stupid Onna  
  
DBZHobbit: DO YOU WANT THE TUTU AGAIN!!!!!!!  
  
Wufei: Shutting up now. 


	4. The Date

Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing at all. And since doing this my budget has gone EVEN lower as Duo costs a lot, with the hair products and all, and I have to keep hiding Heero's gun so he's out for me and my nerves are shot ::looks around to make sure for the thousandth time that Heero isn't there::

I'm SO sorry that this took so long but I got writer's block and school is being a pain in the rear end so here it is! The last chapter (I think) okay… here I go!

**In the G-boy's hotel room**

Duo: (springs to get the special TV on) All right! Let's watch how hard the mighty shall fall!

Wufei: That was quite literate for you Duo

Duo: Quite what??

Wufei: -.-

Quatre: (snuggling up to Trowa) Come on guys, let's just watch it.

Trowa: (very happy right now)

Heero: Duo! Get your big head out of the way!

Duo: I'm gonna stay here even longer thanks to that remark

Heero: Damn! If only I had my gun!

DBZHobbit: Muahahaha! I hid it so well!

Heero: I WILL find it you know!

DBZHobbit: Oh shut up, you'll get it back at the end of this chapter

Heero: (bounces) YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone else: Did we just see that?

Heero: See what?

Duo: Hey look! He's gonna go get ready!

Ryuichi: Who is?

Duo: Treize who do you thi... RYUICHI! What are you doing here?

Ryuichi: Watching the TV…

Quatre: Ryuichi, aren't you supposed to be getting ready for the concert?

Ryuichi: (playing with Kumagorou) Oh no, we don't need to be there until a little time before the show starts. We don't do anything but sing.

Wufei: (screams like a little girl) HE'S IN THE SHOWER!!! AND WE CAN SEE HIM!!!!!

All: AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!! (They all cover their eyes and don't stop screaming)

Heero: (braves to peak out from behind Duo's head) It's okay! He's got a towel on now.

Quatre: AH! Not for long!!!!!

All: ARGHHHHH (A/N ah hell, just repeat the last 'all')

Trowa: Phew, he has pants now

Wufei: What time is his date getting there?

Duo: In about an hour

Narrator: Treize continued to get ready, at which Ryuichi laughed because he didn't put the right pants on, Duo screamed as the OZ leader didn't shampoo his hair TWICE like he told him too (Heero had to restrain him from hitting the TV, Duo takes hair very seriously) and now Treize was in the kitchen about to prepare the dinner that he and his date were supposed to have… though I doubt that it would be edible.

Quatre: No no no!!!! He's doing it all wrong!!! Oh no! He's going to put too much sugar in again!

BANG!!!!! (A/N XD it go kablooy again! Sorry, couldn't help myself)

Quatre: (turning bright red with anger) I TOLD him! I left INSTRUCTIONS that even Duo could understand!!!!

Duo: HEY!

Heero: Trowa, you might have to kiss him again

Trowa: (leans over and kisses Quatre)

Quatre: (happily accepts)

Duo: Heero, they're not stopping

Quatre and Trowa: (roll off the bed they were sitting on)

Wufei: HEY! We have an OZ leader to laugh at right now! You can mess around later!!! (Runs over and breaks them apart)

Quatre: I wuv Twowa

Heero: (rolls eyes) Here we go again

Duo: (thwaps Quatre upside the head)

Quatre: OW! Has he finished cooking?

Duo: Yes

Quatre (sigh) Oh good

Trowa: Now he's… preening himself in front of the mirror… Hey! He forgot to feed the animals!! Oh no, the lion just ate the seal!!! I told him to feed them!

Ryuichi: (in tears) poor Mr. Seal, we liked him didn't we Kuma-chan (makes the bunny nod and pretend to cry)

Duo: Ew… how can he not notice the blood that's flying?

Quatre: Treize is very self-absorbed

Narrator: Treize stood preening himself for a little while longer but his eyes went in bug-out mode when the door bell rang (this also freaked him out as Trowa had changed the doorbell from it's usual Ding-Dong to that creepy circus tune) Treize opened the door and stared in shock at the woman in front of him.

Treize: O.O

Relena: Hi Treize isn't it great that we're going out tonight? I mean, I think that this should make Heero jealous and then he'd finally come back to me as everyone knows how I love Heero so sorry but I'm just using you so he'll be angry so I'm sorry that he might come and kill you… blah blah blah blah

Treize: O.O

Narrator: Duo, needless to say, was loving this

Duo: (pissing himself laughing) Oh this is great! Two birds with one stone!!!

Heero: easy for you to say, she's not obsessed with YOU

Duo: Aw, cheer up Hee-Chan at least you know that she's not hiding in your bathroom closet again

Heero: (shudders) yeah, that was a nasty encounter getting out of the shower

Quatre: What is she WEARING!

Trowa: Heero, did you dress Relena?

Heero: NO! What makes you think I'd willingly go anywhere NEAR HER!

Duo: (sniggers) I did! I told her Heero liked girls in Victorian brown dresses!

Heero: Ew, no I don't

Duo: I know, that's why I told her you did (laughing at his own ingenious plan)

Wufei: Shut up, they're about to have dinner

**In Treize's dining room (well it was until Trowa got to it, I should really say Treize's stables)**

Relena: This is very nice Treize, is it an Arabian dish?

Treize: Yes, Quatre taught me how to make it

Relena: I've always liked Quatre; if he weren't gay then I might have become obsessed with him… oh what am I saying? I LOVE YOU HEEEEROOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Treize: O.O Do you do that often?

Relena: Quite a lot actually

Treize: great…

**In the G-Boy's hotel room**

Ryuichi: (whispers to Duo) Are Quatre and Trowa like Yuki and Shuichi?

Duo: The novelist and the singer? Yeah, they are. Couldn't you tell from the kissing and rolling?

Ryuichi: Tatsuha and I do that and we aren't like Yuki and Shuichi

Duo: (utterly confused) Oh

DBZHobbit: Sorry for the Gravitation references! I'll stop now… well except with the concert and all

Duo: Hey! Author person thingy! Shut up and get on with the story!

DBZHobbit: Do you want the tutu again? I can bring it back you know!

Duo: Eep! No ma'am.

DBZHobbit: Good boy, have a cookie.

Heero: Hey Du, where'd you get the cookie?

Duo: (shrugs)

Quatre: They've finished the dinner

Ryuichi: Treize needs a bib

Others: He WHAT?!?!?

Ryuichi: He got Halva on his pants

Others: (look really close to the TV screen) so he does

Heero: Good eye Ryuichi

Duo: Heero, are you feeling okay? You just complimented Ryu-Chan

Heero: Oh shut up King of Sarcasm

Trowa: They're leaving for the concert

Ryuichi: oh goodie!

Quatre: erm, Ryuichi, aren't you supposed to be there?

Ryuichi: huh?

Wufei: They can't have the concert without you!

Ryuichi: oh yeah, we best be leaving then hadn't we Kuma-Chan. Bye Everybody!

All: Bye Ryuichi

Duo: Bye Kumagorou!

Ryuichi: (Makes Kumagorou kiss Duo's head) Kuma-Chan says Bye. (He leaves)

Wufei: Duo, aren't you at least slightly put off by the fact you were just kissed by a pink rabbit?

Duo: Not really

Narrator: The Gundam pilots watched as Treize and Relena took a limo to the concert grounds, the ride was… interesting to say the least. Relena didn't shut up about 'her unforgiving love' for the perfect soldier and kept yelling 'Heero! I love you' out of the window. Duo was clutching his sides from laughing too much and he thinks he broke a rib. Treize was sitting there, muttering and plotting his revenge on the G-boys with a very unnerving look on his face. Upon reaching the concert grounds they sat in their V.I.P seats and waited to watch Japan's biggest band perform.

Duo: I can't wait to see this!

Wufei: I know, Treize is going to be humiliated

Duo: No, I meant that concert! I love J-Rock!

Wufei: J-what?

Heero: It's the type of music that Ryuichi sings

Quatre: I heard that he becomes a completely different person when he goes on stage.

Trowa: I heard that too.

Wufei: Well I don't see what the big fuss is about

Heero: Duo, if Treize likes Nittle Grasper's music then what's going to humiliate him at the concert?

Duo: (evil grin) You'll see Heero, Ryu-Chan still has a part to play in this

**At the Nittle Grasper concert**

Ryuichi: (coming on stage… waits for the fan girls to stop screaming) Hello my friends! Welcome to our new concert! As always I am Sakuma Ryuichi your singer! And my friends Seguchi Tomha and Ukai Noriko on the synthesisers. So let us begin!

(Music starts)

Ryuichi: garasu no bedo ni toraware no _motion_  
tesaguri de shukujo wa kamikudaku  
_soliday_ na _tail_ de midara na hane _collection_  
himei hodo mujaki na yoruga hoshii

yuuutsu no borode odoru  
jiyuu to uso ni tsuda nukare  
moroku maichiru _puzzle_  
kono shihai kara tobitate

_kiss shining_ hitomi ni kuchizukete  
toke dasu hanabira mo jama ni naru  
_make me shining_ irozuku shigeki no hate ni  
kagayaki hajimeta maboroshi

Treize: I love this song!

Relena: (was thinking about Heero) What? Oh, what is it?

Treize: Shining Collection

Wufei: It's in Japanese!

Duo: Of course it is! Ryuichi's Japanese!

Ryuichi: shikai wo nukedashita _panorama no dimension_  
kanpeki na gitai wa tada furueru  
_cheap_ na shokushu wa mitsu wo motomeru _reaction_  
tsumetakutemo hiwai na kimi ga mitai

nanairo ni moteasobu  
waki-da-shita kairaku no umi  
kage ga fuchidoru _game_  
kono sekai kara uchinuke

TREIZE! COME SING WITH ME!

Treize: WHAT?!?!?!

Duo: I TOLD YOU GUYS!!!!

Trowa: You're making Treize sing in front of thousands of people! Duo, you're amazing!

Duo: (takes a bow) thank you, thank you. Please, no photographs, I'm here 'til Thursday.

Narrator: Unfortunately for the OZ leader, the V.I.P seats were uncannily close to the stage

Relena: (pushes Treize up to the stage) Go on, he asked for you

Treize: but, but I…

Relena: You love the song, you just told me so you know the words now GO! (Then she kicked him onto the stage)

Ryuichi: Yay! All clap for Treize! Go on finish the song!

Treize: er… er… _kiss shining_ kodoku wo katashidori  
karamaru koukai ga kuu wo kiru  
_make me shining_ chirabaru kokoro no hahenra  
mabushiku sugisaru kibou ni

ta-iki wa somaru, akaku nureta yubisaki ni  
habatakenu, chou no namida  
subete wa suna ni naru  
s_hining, make you cry_...

Crowd: Ow! Our ears! We want Ryuichi back!

Ryuichi: (Happily playing the air guitar in the background oblivious to what Treize was doing to his fans, but then he got a near hit on the head by a Nittle Grasper figure that someone had thrown at Treize but missed, so he decided to join in)

Treize and Ryuichi (but mostly Ryuichi): _kiss shining_ hitomi ni kuchizukete  
toke dasu hanabira mo jama ni naru  
_kill me shining_ irozuku shigeki no hate ni  
kagayaki hajimeta maboroshi

_please don't cryin'_ kodoku wo katashidori  
karamaru koukai ga kuu wo kiru  
_make me shining_ chirabaru kokoro no hahenra  
mabushiku sugisaru kibou ni

Ryuichi: Yay! Say goodbye to Treize!

Crowd: Boooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Treize: (sits back down in his seat)

Relena: (was right next to a speaker and completely knocked out by the horrific noise that the OZ leader had caused)

Treize: Well at least I got rid of her

**In the G-boy's hotel room **

All: (pissing themselves laughing)

Heero: Oh that was great!

Wufei: He wont be able to go out in public for weeks! Months even!!!

Quatre: The pain in my ears was worth it!

Trowa: Take that you animal neglecter!!! (Trowa has very strong beliefs in animal rights and still hadn't got over the lion and seal incident)

Duo: Man, that was good (happy sigh) so we're finally done.

Others: Yep

Narrator: Treize was indeed greatly humiliated and couldn't leave his house until the next year. He learned to live with the animals, but he still can't get into his bedroom which had been taken over by the elephant. He never cooked again, as after the date Relena sued him for giving her food poisoning and he tried to get his hair back to the way he used to have it, but Duo works wonders with a pair of scissors and Treize will forever have that centre parting.

Duo: I want the last word! I want the last word!

Narrator: Okay, okay go ahead.

Duo: We succeeded in ruining Treize's life! And so-

Heero: Mission complete

Duo: Hey! I was going to say that!

Heero: well it's my line so you can't say it!

Duo: Oh go self-destruct somewhere!

DBZHobbit: Well, that is me finished with this one. The song Shining Collection I kept in Japanese, as they never sound right translated, get the song! It's amazing! Treize nekkid in the shower . sorry about that horrific image but it was very late when I wrote that part and I felt like torturing the boys a little bit. Relena bashing! (Sigh) couldn't help myself. So this is it for this story. Bye now!

Gundam pilots: Bye!

Ryuichi: Bye bye!!!! (Makes Kumagorou wave)

Treize: (crying) Goodbye, Act four is finished

Relena: I LOVE YOU HEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DBZHobbit: Oh yeah, Heero, here's your gun back

Heero: YES! (Shoots Relena)

All: YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!

DBZHobbit: Roll the credits!

Wufei: we don't have any

DBZHobbit: Oh dammit. Just leave a review then!

Duo: I love reviews!

DBZHobbit: JUST LEAVE ALREADY!

All: (Leave)


End file.
